“Loving You From Here.”

“I NEVER was much of a talker, or especially deep thinker, I know,

But I know what I know.  And, thanks to you all, my Family,

I know Love.”

“BECAUSE you showed me Love (never anything but!), & saw me all the way through with it, it’s like I arrived up here with the most excellent packed lunch!  Oh, everything is so good here…  Please don’t be sad for me.  I can run and jump and play now, the way I used to!

“And nothing hurts!  You’ll see when you get here.  When we meet up again!  But please don’t rush that, on my account.  Remember what you taught me, in the living: ‘Wherever Love is, there Heaven must be!”

“I know you’ve got a lot of stuff to do, being still living and all that.  I  just wanted to pay a quick visit to say two things, really, before I get back to the game.  And they are important.”

“Now, what were they again?  Oh, yeah!   First, I know it’s not always the easiest thing,  but never forget to find the Heaven where you are!  Just like you taught and showed me, there’s only ever one key.”

“And that way, we’ll really be together now!”

The other thing I wanted to say, with all my heart and soul,

is I Love You.  And, from the heart,

Thank you for everything.  You were all God’s gift to me.

Living proof that God is good.

O.K., got to run.  Later!

   –Tommy

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And On the Eighth Day, She Rested (One Hopes!)

 

Patty’s Wall     Latest Mosaic Tile Installation by Daviea Davis of Pittsburgh, PA
For closer view, click twice, use sliding bar at bottom of screen to move image.

TODAY, in fact a few minutes ago, I was busily trying to step into my “lawyer” shoes (with this being a Monday and all), when I received an e-mail from my one-of-a-kind friend Daviea Davis, who has become (among many other things) a celebrated artist in glass mosaic in her native Pittsburgh, and far beyond.  She’s not quite on the Breakfast cereal boxes up there yet, but her work is in the airport, a number of other public places, private homes, and God-knows-where-all else.  She is making the world a more sensational place.

She also teaches the art, spreading her enthusiasm for its gifts, and has used it for healing, working with young people too close for comfort to the very edge of that vortex known as a “life of crime.”  (She has also confessed a tad of discomfort at the beginning, sitting in that room trying to pull off the whole teaching thing with the youths eying all those shards of sharp glass with an alarming level of interest.  But things worked out fine, and in  fact one of those very youths from an early class has since risen to the Governorship of Pennsylvania.*)

Anyway, her e-mail said: “This is a 24 foot by 4.5 foot glass on brick wall. It was created and completed in place over 8 long long days. I am sunburned, sore, and satisfied. ”

I just wanted to say “I’m proud of you, D,” and pass on your Light.

Thank you.

*Outrageous falsehood, but certainly interesting if true.

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For Katy, with Love

For my friend Katy Raits.  Current Park Ranger & accomplished “translator” of the Everglades in any number of Human languages.    Proud grandmother.  Timeless Sojourner of the Spirit.  Wife and Soul mate to my bud Eric.  A true blue blessing to many.

(Illustration after N.C. Wyeth’s “All Birds Have Homes,” McCall’s Magazine, 1928)

MAYBE one day I shall share her story, or we, ours.  We’ve talked about that, and spoken of possibly doing a web log on the subject, because life is sometimes stranger and more wondrous than fiction (by far!), and God knows there’s an abundance of existing material: story, graphics, you name it.  She showed it to me once; the astonishing whole of it filling a big fat accordion-type folder.  Big enough (it turns out)  to help serve as ballast back when the winds were blowing hard, and from unpredictable directions.  There was a time when she used to take it with here everywhere she went, she told me.

(I hope to God that’s not still true, as she tromps through the Godforsaken Everglades, laughing at the razor sharp and ravenous saw grass quietly waiting to devour, as patient as it is deadly; crossing wide streams by leaping from the slimy, scaly back of one bull gator to the next; fully engrossed in a paperback novel held in one hand, while casually dispatching a 20 foot Burmese Python with her standard-issue, razor sharp “filet ‘o Snake” blade held tight in the other.  (OK, maybe I exaggerate, slightly, but she did tell me that her job duties actually include capturing HUGE, sharp fanged, and incredibly powerful snakes with her own two hands! As Miami Herald columnist Dave Barry is fond of saying, “I am not making this up!”))

I suppose in a way I’ve started backwards, with an illustration preceding the tale it might accompany.  But that makes no difference, because though the story involves an epic journey of sorts, it certainly begins in Love, and will end (if ever) exactly back where it began.  The destination might finally seem a very different place, even entirely unconnected to the dark point of origin, as if a sequence of footsteps unbroken had not led exactly from one to the other!  But they have.

And if you stop to think about it, it is those differences alone that tell us how far we’ve come.  They are also the gold (of the kind that stays, and never fades) redeemed unknown or unrecognized along the way of the long dark nights, the unbearable crucifixions of Fear, and lonesome seasons of wintry storm raging inside, that no glowing hearth might warm, nor anyone else even see. If we but had the vision to see, we might be comforted “in the meantime” by a sweet assurance that in the end, not one bit of it is wasted. All loose ends come together, though at times we certainly cannot even begin to fathom how that is likely to happen.

Time is the reason for the beauty of the long road, said one poet.  (Or perhaps I dreamt it, because I’ve never been able to find the quote!  If anyone out there could help me “awaken” with a source or even some vague notion, I’d appreciate it.)

And so here we all are, alone and struggling, yet part of one great shimmering whole. Not wandering in meaningless circles or constantly butting our aching heads against hard dead-ends as it seems, but possibly faithfully acting our parts according to some choreography necessarily beyond our present ability to perceive, or comprehend.

So, as long we’re wandering around the Promised Land like idiots stumbling lost in a vast desert, why not celebrate the love in our lives,  if necessary first taking the time to recognize it?  And what might happen if we actually dare risk consciously opening up our hearts, for more?  (It’s not like I have answers, necessarily; I’m just asking!)

Thank you for being there. Thank you for being.

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Blessed are the Myth-Makers: The Marvel Comics Bullpen, Snapshots in Time.

                                                                          Illustration P. Crockett

QUITE unexpectedly, I have fallen back in love as an adult with the comic books I so loved long ago and far away, as a boy of 12-13. Exactly how or why I honestly cannot say. All I know is that the fire of passion for the damned things (and I mean everything about them) that once burned so hot and close to center, and that in time I came to believe done, has burst back into full flame. I don’t need to ask why; I’m having too much fun, and meeting along the way some truly wonderful people. I’m certainly having an experience!

clip_image002Batmobile P. Crockett 1st Grade, 1966

Now, suitably enough for a post on comic books, the grand plan here is to simply enjoy looking at the pictures! They, much more than any words I might throw at them, are the real point and the reason I sit down to write.

I recently chanced upon two sets of photos published by Marvel Comics, the first in 1964 and then 1969, of the gifted folks that together made up its ever-evolving “Bullpen,” as editor Stan Lee dubbed the dynamically creative production team that put out its growing number of books each month. As it happens I came across the later one first.

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The Fantastic Four is Born.

I’d not seen it before, and it took my breath away.  I knew most of the names well, more than a few having themselves become the stuff of legend.  Yet I lacked the first clue as to what they’d even looked like. I became surprised by the force of my curiosity.

clip_image004Young Peter learns the harshest of lessons: “With great power comes great responsibility.”

IT IS a paradoxical thing, for this most “public” and shared of rituals– the savoring page by turning page of the latest issue of one’s favorite title—nevertheless seems somehow a most intimate experience. On some deep level, it seemed that these people captured in the photographs were no strangers to me. But who were they? I found myself studying the images as if they might contain some kind of important clue to a mystery, or a piece of some greater puzzle.

I imagined that others might also be curious, and enjoy them. Thus, this sharing. The first set, weighing in at two pages, debuted in the quintessentially Marvel classic shown below, cover date January, 1964, art by Jack “the King” Kirby and Steve Ditko. Many of the major characters enlivening the Company’s pantheon were already taking shape, but in most cases, just barely. Even so, the self-proclaimed “Marvel Era of Comics” was definitely underway.

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HERE, on the two pages that follow, is the “ground floor” team, around late 1963.

Bullpen A_e

bullpen B

BEFORE jumping rudely forward to 1969, I must take the liberty of including one member of the Bullpen conspicuous in his absence: Steve Ditko. Here he is:

clip_image002[8]

The photo is borrowed from http://www.steveditko.com/, where anyone interested can learn more about this colorful and apparently sometimes challenging character. All that aside, however, it must be noted that he not only contributed loyally and steadily to Marvel before there actually was a Marvel (in its predecessor line, Atlas Comics), but during the “Bullpen years” made some signature and truly extraordinary contributions. He is fully credited with and acknowledged for his creation of the character “Dr. Strange,” but might well have made (far and away) one of the single greatest contributions of any one person not only to Marvel, but to the entire field of comic book art, from its inception to this day. It is he that may have given us the one-and-only, utterly spectacular Amazing Spider-Man!

Notwithstanding his official recognition as “co-creator” of the character with Stan Lee, a designation now (and probably forever) enshrined in the archives of untouchable history, it is quite possibly true that “no Ditko= no Spider-Man.” Over the years there has been some “back and forth” on the question, etc., yet I believe that probably to be the case. Why? Simply because of the following credits from Amazing Spider-Man #19 (splash page shown above), drawn by another but always unmistakably scripted by Stan Lee himself:

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Since in the world of comic book legend no birth certificates are generally published or required, the above recognition of Ditko’s “paternity” by Lee himself (it seems to me) carries persuasive weight on the question.

clip_image002[12]Self-Portrait, Steve Ditko Napping

In any event, that possibility alone earns him a place of high honor forever in the Marvel Universe and in the larger world it has so affected, because it seems difficult indeed to imagine the Marvel world complete without one conspicuously smart-mouthed, agile, and daring Spider-Man with whom we might remain so perpetually amazed!

clip_image003First appearance, August 1962. Cover by Jack Kirby.

MOVING right along to 1969, and without further commentary, you are invited to simply enjoy on the four pages to follow images of the bullpen of a most unique place and time. I have spent some time giving my best shot at clarifying and enhancing the pages as originally published in an unreceptive medium, and hope that they might inspire, or bring you a moment’s pleasure.

1

 

3

2

 

4

AS they say, we make plans and God laughs.  Right here is where the story ended.  “At last!,” I thought, “it’s ‘put to bed.’”  Hah!  And it was, for almost two days!  Then friendly reader Dennis, of Ottawa, Canada saw the piece, and was kind enough to volunteer the following images of the bullpen of 1975, scanned from his personal copy of the program of the First Mighty Marvel Comic Convention held in New York City at the Hotel Commodore on March 22-24 of that year.

Thank you, Dennis!  Here we go:

That’s it, for now, at least!  Thanks for stopping by.

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Coconut Palm Lullaby: First Painting of 2012

Around age nine, while walking through the countryside, he saw a tree filled with angels.

              –On William Blake, http://www.poets.org/poet.php/prmPID/116

LAST NIGHT, in a single sitting, my first painting of 2012 was born on wooden board.  So my personal “New Year” has now begun in earnest, and I will take this opportunity to extend heartfelt wishes for you and yours for good health and blessings uncountable, today and throughout this year and in those to come.

Alan has the garden illuminated so beautifully it seems (at night especially) an unearthly place, abounding with  quiet wonders that surprise and delight.  The other night I took the time to simply get away from the computer (!) and head outside to wander a bit, to be embraced by the thriving jungle garden and remember that overhead there is starlight. I sat for a while, and let my mind ramble, and became suddenly aware of a sound that had been there, all along. It was most gentle, and partook of ancient rhythms.

I heard the soft night breezes rustling through the palm fronds high above, pianissimo, as a harp loved by fingers. It was like music.

It did not care in the least whether any were there to listen, or not.  To my weary mind it sounded a lullaby, but just as likely it might have been part of some great timeless chorus of praise eternal, just because.  (In the same sense as our heartbeats.)  Who can say?

Whatever the case I heard it myself, and am fully content with the mystery.  And I am grateful.

I hope you enjoy the painting. Thank you.

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First, Some Art.

 

WHY not start with art?  I’m still refining this technological boondoggle, but click on the image below and you’ll be led… somewhere!  I’m still working on this one…so please pardon my existential dust  : )

Palm Song, Nocturne    P. Crockett

Hope you enjoy the view.  Nothing ever remains exactly the same, for better or worse, yet we tend to forget.

Words, words… what is one to do?  Please, just enjoy the pictures.  May they delight and refresh you.

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Lost Cities

Road to Cocoanut Grove, 1910′s Stereopticon Image

ALONG the way of one of our recent garage sale excursions, I had the pleasure of meeting noted Coconut Grove artist Carol Garvin at her wonderful home there. (Her work can be seen at http://www.carolgarvin.com/ ) She had decided to let go of a number of treasures, including a number of old books once part of the library of the Munroe family (one of whom built the still-standing Barnacle homestead on the shores of the Bay), and a more recent, wonderful document:

SITTING down with it and turning its pages was wonderful, and strange.

Having participated in the thriving Grove community for at least part of that era, it struck me that the vibrant, eccentric, and proud “village” so vividly brought back to life through the mosaic of stories, photos, and advertisements in that large brown magazine is now gone. Almost every bit of it: the defining sense of quirkiness, and celebration (rather than mere tolerance) of colorful individuality.  That palpable (if quiet) sense of pride in really  belonging to a community seen as worthy of such connection, with no trace of cynicism, or irony.  And beneath it all, very close to the surface, an unabashed shared need to live and feel and experience “larger than life.” Within these yellowed pages (actually pinkish) the Old Grove still lived on.  And quite obviously always would.

So much was conveyed with pellucid clarity in what was said, and what was not. The pictures and words spoke of an era that now seems nearly as unreachable and distant as that of the once open streets of cobbled Pompeii, before the molten rivers and mountains of hot ash spewed by Mount Vesuvius swallowed it all up within its shadow.

Vesuvius

A bad day for nearby Pompeii.  Darkness before noon on the morning of Aug. 24 in the year 79 A.D., according to latest practices in scientific dating.

AS I thumbed through page after over-sized page of articles and exuberant advertisement for every manner of innovative and unique craftsmanship and creative expression: theater, cuisine and fashion,  jewelry and floral arrangement, and so on, I could not help but be struck by the thought, with no small wonder, “My God. My God. It would be a full 10 years until the sickness came.” These young people, captured in their bold and brave and (generally) good spirit, quickening in the very prime of their art, were never going to sicken and die. And neither were their friends one after another, like bowling pins racked up badly out of order.

Ruins

Ruins, Pompeii   Image from Google Earth

The horizon had been as bright, bold, and inviting as that of the blue bay itself, at its most lyrical. The Florida sky above has always seemed somehow extraordinarily big, offering by day and by star-scattered night a great, never-ending and always-changing show.  Up, down, all around; the whole of it seemed to fairly  sparkle with an infinite range of possibilities.

In so many ways, it was such an innocent time.

Cocoanut Grove Yacht Club, 1880′s.

Yet innocence, I suppose, is a relative term given meaning only in strict relationship to the lessons of its contrapuntal “shadow,” experience. And we, all of us, adult and child alike, are becoming experienced.  Like it or not.  It’s as if a process has begun with no clear starting date, nor a knowable end in  sight.  And it all seems to be somehow accelerating.  As expressed by poet Billy Collins, “there are speed lines on everything.”

(By itself, the inevitable seque into the future is not necessarily a bad thing. Not at all. But in our case, the extent of the unknown and its importance seem to offer an opportunity– or maybe invitation,  possibly even an urgent demand– to seek new and more useful answers to some of the great o’er-looming questions now hitting us all so hard right in the face: where do we now stand in relation to one another?  What exactly is happening here, and what are we to do with it all?   Where are we to go from here, and what, if any, are our real choices in the matter? Oh yeah, and how?

One “master key” available, I feel, is a deeper understanding and appreciation of  the ancient rhythms that once sustained and guided us.  They were  so much part of us and so very near that they could be easy to miss, like the air that we breathe.  There’s no real going back, I realize, but it may nevertheless be critical  to celebrate, or grieve the loss of, the ways of being well-known to our ancestors before us.

What has been lost?

comp live

Miami River Rapids ___ P. Crockett

THE questions are both daunting and without number, and plausible answers both elusive and difficult to fathom.  Yet for some reason I cannot know, but have learned to trust absolutely, I have hope.

Coconut Grove 1970
(Click to view larger; return by back-arrow.)

Downtown, Close-Up

PERHAPS I should clarify that I did not sit down to write another elegaic piece about AIDS and its long shadow. Been there, done that, am living it, and grateful to be alive.

I write more of a universal human experience confronted by anyone who sticks around long enough, and in South Florida it needn’t be that long, at all: the fading into history of yet another golden era, leaving its survivors stranded upon a middling sandbar of time, with no solid footing in either direction. 

As so poetically expressed by Robert Frost, Nothing Golden Can Stay.

We all know that there’s no real going back, that we can’t go home again.  Not really. Say a prayer, or better still lend a helping hand if you can, to those souls who see no way of moving forward, who cannot even begin to imagine their place in this jarring and chaotic parade of endless “progress.”  

Welcome to the Peacock Innegn

Welcome to the Peacock Inn  P. Crockett The story of the moment in time captured by this painting is told elsewhere in this web log:

http://growingintothemystery.net/2008/12/06/capturing-history-before-its-gone-2/

I cannot help but see that the Grove of that era was a “moment,” but still: one so exquisitely vibrant and alive that it did not seem so.  How can any such time and place so rare, so radiant and full in its native glory, be subject to the ordinary tidal pulls, the dreary and inevitable ebb and flow of statistical historical precedent? Where do dreams go to die?

Perhaps that is why, for all of its canned “festiveness,” the Cocowalk mega-complex always touches me with a light but definite sense of sadness. I think, “I don’t want to be here!” Yet even if I stamp both feet in futile resistance and rail with all the righteous indignation I can muster against this sickly tide of the inevitable, it makes no difference at all.  Here we still are. 

This monolith consecrated to Mammon holds itself out as a bastion of “the new Grove,” in fact something of a presumptuous  organizing principle: a more relevant and up-to-date version of the old-time  community markets in which people bought, sold, and traded with people.  Sure enough, when I go to Cocowalk I always see people.  Usually a lot of them.  Yet I feel part of  no community.  The neighbors who once greeted neighbors have all gone elsewhere, or died off.  No oddballs are permitted.  You find a parking space easily, if you’re lucky, and then you stroll.  Meanwhile, you know those damn cameras are everywhere, programmed to film with insatiable lust, as if data were treasure, and filming were seeing. The sprawling facility is seamless and relentlessly  efficient, no doubt.  But who cares?

Every time I go there it leaves me flat, after all of these years.

IT strikes me: this is often how we  learn that we have really loved.  One day we find ourselves mourning, to greater or lesser degree, and looking back. I believe there might be a better way.

Miami River, and Egret

I write of one era, and yet: I’ve heard from the old timers how the real peak of the Grove was in the ’50′s. (Oh, Paul, my God! You should’ve been there! The boat outings that went on all weekend, the unforgettable dinner parties, the whole scene… It really was something to see.”) The “beat poets” had come and taken up residence, mixing harmoniously with the artists already local– a whole rainbow of them– yet still more came, of all kinds.  Like some willful  shimmering mirage insistent upon its own becoming, a thriving, cultured, and tolerant (real) community somehow willed itself into being there, within a suitably unlikely slice of tangled subtropical forest along the shores of Biscayne Bay.

Coconut Grove TRail 1880

Cocoanut Grove Trail, 1880’s,

And looking back further still, I have heard tales told by the even “older timers,” some of whom were young when the Seminole Indians still came in from the Everglades by cypress canoe to trade, and who remember drawing fresh water from “boils” out in the salty bay, replenishing their precious supplies of sweet water without need of heading back to shore.  They were here before all this damned pavement, when the water was unimaginably clear and alive with every conceivable manner of sea life, and the Earth still breathed fresh and deep.

And once upon a time, I am told, it had not yet become too crowded to foreclose the sharing of the ample forest and rocky pine highlands with roaming panther, fox, black bear, and any number of other creatures that had arrived here well before any man.  Since the dawn of time, after all, none of these species had known of (or been even able to imagine) any other that would have the motivation and means to lay claim to all of it, land and sea and sky above, all for itself.  The very notion would have made no sense, at all.

First Fox Caught in South Florida, 1884“.  A truly pitiful sight.  In a sense, the sad closing, forever, of a grand and ancient chapter of natural life, beauty, and freedom in a most extraordinary part of the Earth. The swift and clever fox was natural enemy to the dunder-headed possum. (To this day, the scent of fox urine remains the most effective means of sending unwanted possums packing.)  I hate to think what it says of  the world that only the latter now survives.

For the creatures knew not greed, nor malice.  They, God bless them, were innocent.

Tenochtitlan, seat of the Aztec Empire (current site of Mexico City), November 1519, a thriving city in many respects absolutely unequaled in contemporary Europe. Cortez and his men would arrive on the 22nd day of the following month.

Strange, the way this line of contemplation hits me. There’s no quality of the morbid to it; we are already grieving, yet might not understand exactly why. Yet perhaps we should.  Every challenge I have yet encountered, no matter its seriousness or magnitude, is easier and most usefully faced in the light. Also, we cannot help but realize that the transience of our experience here is at once the most unimaginable burden we carry, and the very well-spring of the abiding sweetness that gets us through it.

Road to Cocoanut Grove, 1880′s.

AND if the cities will come and go, perhaps we might set our sights on leaving behind, at the least, the finest and most golden treasure we possibly can. And quite possibly that treasure has nothing at all to do with gold of the cold metal kind.

Carpe diem. If you’ve got love in your heart, it is your greatest gift. Share it, all you can. Just because.

And I will aim to do the same.

Thank you.

Peacock Inn, 1880′s.  Sweet dreams.

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Moon Rising, Miami Evening

 

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“By a Bay Now Called ‘Biscayne’”: a Painting Progresses.

By a Bay Now Called “Biscayne”  ___P. Crockett

ONCE again revisiting the site of the Devil’s Punch Bowl freshwater spring along the shores of Biscayne Bay, this time with the benefit of a little time travel, and imagination.  Here you see taking shape a scenario that easily might have once been, yet now seems so…. dreamlike.

Was it we who began dreaming of a teeming metropolis here only decades ago , when the area now bisected by I-95 and US-1 must have seemed only a sliver of thick green jungle floating improbably between the vast flat flowing waters of the Everglades in every direction “inland,”and the Bay’s blue horizons to the East?  In those days, the very idea of a modern, “magic city” taking shape in the ancient fastness of the subtropical wilderness thriving there must have seemed utterly audacious, or ridiculous, or both.

Just as likely, it might have seemed, the Emerald City of Oz and its tall spires of glittering jade would suddenly one afternoon appear there intact, offering no clue as to how, or why, it had come!

YET the vision indeed took shape and form, and continues restlessly to do so today.  Anyone or anything perceived as standing in its way has not been tolerated.  In a sustained and notable tantrum of Human hubris, nearly all of the ancient rhythms of the waters and lands of the place, of a richness, variety, and abundance we can now scarcely imagine, have been systematically, persistently, and ingeniously undone or dismantled.  All things must give way to the coming order, in this case modern man’s  “better idea.”  So has it always been.

Neither the native peoples nor any animals were considered, much less consulted, and any dissenters worthy of note pushed promptly and summarily to one side.  The biggest dreamers remained willfully blind to the wisdom of the place itself, even though that exactly, and nothing more nor less, is what had called them to the grand vision in the first place.  The art of “listening” was not high among their considerable list of skills, nor was (for that matter) even asking any of the great and important questions. They were far too occupied with the thrill of manifesting to stop and consider.

Considering the vastness, crazed diversity, and veins of rich paradox running all through this  Great Dream of a new kind of metropolis now ready at last for its own place in the sun,

and the countless visions, creations, and re-creations that together formed the  unlikely constellation of its being,

one must at least pause to wonder why exactly it had to be that neither the native people nor the panther that had both once thrived and belonged here, even co-existed side-by-side for millennia, could ever be given even the smallest place within the new vision.

Yet the answer is clear and comes all too quickly: the very idea is foolishness, for we were afraid.

Things that fascinate and repel with their intoxicating danger!

Water under the bridge with respect to the Natives that long preceded the people today called the Seminole  and the highly endangered Florida Panther, perhaps, but might we now be free to act in a different and wiser manner with respect to the future challenges and clashes of culture that seem so inevitable in a world growing ever smaller?  All I can venture to guess, with some certainty, is “Yes, we might be.”

That will be up to you, and to me.

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My Nephew Jackson, on Gay Marriage.

 

My sister Lisa’s family: Jackson Paul Hampton Cole sits between Mom and Dad Casey.  Daniel Crockett Cole on far L.

A COUPLE OF WEEKS back I called my sister Lisa, who’s made her home in Arlington, TX, trying to figure out where on Earth our wandering gypsy parents might have temporarily touched ground.  So we chatted a bit.  “Oh, that reminds me,” she said.  “I meant to tell you about this essay Jackson wrote.  He’s applying for college now, and the other day he brought to me this essay he’d done on ‘gay marriage.’  It’s not like I suggested the topic, or anything.  He chose it completely on his own, and I think he did a good job with it. I’m proud of him.”

“Well, that makes two of us,” I said.  Then again, Jackson has always made me proud.  Starting from the inception, with his name.  I can imagine no honor greater or more profound, nor one more daunting, than for one of your blood, younger, to carry your name while you’re still around!

1993.

Then, as I’ve watched him grow over the years, I’ve seen taking shape a truly fine man.  He’s the kind of guy people tend to like, because he’s a mellow fellow with no axes to grind, and he enjoys people.  He is loving the ladies, and they are loving him right back.  He keeps his eyes and his heart open wide, and seems uninterested in judgment.  He excels at athletics (a hellacious High School quarterback),yet can be as gentle as he needs to be.  He is also fundamentally kind, and brave enough (for example) to call out his peers on bullying behavior at school (in favor of some tortured soul that, quite probably, no one had ever before stood up for, and who will certainly never forget Jackson).

No one told him to do that, either.  He took a stand because he could, and because it was the right thing to do, all the way around.  Jackson had their respect.  The bullying stopped.

 

2004.  Jackson is the animal in red taking the boy with the football down.  Back then, he said, “Mom, that guy wasn’t going anywhere.”  We both thought that was funny.  He didn’t!

Now, back to the essay. Lisa said “And by the way, he writes about you in it.  I should find that and get you a copy.”

So, she did, and it blew me away.  With his permission, of course, I wanted to share what he’d written, and part of the reason was to offer to all of you an important and inspirational reminder that you just might be touching more lives, or perhaps be more of an influence for the good in any of them, than you might ever realize.  It is our relationships– family, friends, and others we care about– that give life its savor, even make it worth living.  Yet for a number of reasons, it seems as if the larger part of that which is truly and essentially important in this regard often goes unsaid during our lifetimes.

Sharing at funerals is fine, as far as it goes, but it seems there must be a better way.  And Yes, there clearly is, and maybe the challenge lies in its very simplicity: just do it.  Why?  No reason is the best reason, because it’s free of agenda.  Just because. As singer/songwriter James Taylor put it, “Shower the people you love with love/ Show them the way that you feel.”

And also because these are hurtin’ times, and simply offering up an acknowledgment of gratitude that is sincere won’t cost you a penny, yet just might leave another much richer than before.

(Sorry if it sounds like I’m preaching here; the truth is I’m clarifying for my own benefit a point that on the one hand I hold to be of ultimate importance, yet on the other, know I could practice better and more consistently in my own life.  I am simply inviting you to listen in on the conversation, because the principle is universal.  If you’re reading this, I am grateful that you are here.)

Without further ado, here is the essay.  The words are his, any “illustration” or related captions, mine.

Topic B (Freshman)

Choose an issue of importance to you—the issue could be personal, school related, local, political, or international in scope—and write an essay in which you explain the significance of that issue to yourself, your family, your community, or your generation.

An issue that is prevalent in our society today is that of gay marriage.  Should marriage by homosexuals be acknowledged under the law, or should marriage in American society be reserved solely for heterosexuals? Gay marriage is a touchy subject, but having a gay uncle who is a real person, with real emotions, and not just a caricature on a television show, I have come to understand that they should be allowed to get married and adopt kids.

I grew up in Arlington, Texas, and attend Baptist church every Sunday like many good Christians. I know that many of the people I go to church with are nice and loving people, but their inability to see gays as anything but objects of derision, and not flesh and blood people, causes them to have anything but a Christian-like attitude toward people like my uncle.

L to R: Brother Whitney, Lisa, and Cowboy Paul.


My Uncle Paul and mother grew up in the heart of Miami, Florida in the late 70’s.

Anita Bryant, undertaking the long and rocky road to Glamor. Advertisement, Miami Herald.

Lisa and me, at parents’ 50th Wedding Anniversary Celebration.

No one would even begin talking about gay sex until the early 80’s, and that discussion sadly only involved AIDS and its massive infliction on the burgeoning gay population. During this time period in his late 20’s, my Uncle Paul came “out of the closet”, and told everyone he was a homosexual.

That man who came out of the closet is the reason I got baptized and wanted to be closer to Jesus.  Uncle Paul shows the love of Jesus better than anyone I know; he carries the light of Jesus everywhere he goes. If he can lead a boy from Texas to become a Christian than why can’t he marry the man he loves if they both want to?  God has given all of us the promise of happiness on earth if we believe in Him.  The pursuit of happiness through marriage should not be reserved for heterosexual Christians when God has clearly made this entire other group also in His image.

My uncle marrying another man, I promise, won’t hurt anyone, and most people won’t even know he’s married unless they make an effort to look at his ring finger.  (And if someone wants to look at his ring finger so they can judge, than that person is acting hatefully and is probably unhappy with his or her own life.)   I am not making a commentary on whether being gay is “wrong” or “right”.   Jesus teaches us that just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you’re evil, or that you’re “going straight to hell in a hand basket”, as my mother is fond of saying.  Having attended a Southern Baptist church my whole life I can say without a doubt there is more evil in some of the people I see singing and praying than in the gays they presume to judge.  However, in that same church I have come to know people who do their very best every day to walk with Christ, to live and love according to the example he set for us.   My Uncle Paul is like those people.

I am glad that through my uncle I have been shown the truth, and that I can influence people to be more accepting of lifestyles that may not fit the “ideal Christian mold,” if there is such a thing. Hopefully, one day America will no longer prohibit its men and women who happen to be from becoming happily married with their soul mates.  I believe that the institution of marriage will be made stronger as a result, and not weaker, and we will all be the better for it.

_______________________

When I finally tracked down my parents in New York City and shared with them the essay over the phone, they were both proud, as well.  Dad (being Dad) said “Hell!  That’s not going to get him into Oral Roberts University!”  I laughed.  “And that’s a bad thing?  Somehow I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.”

Thank you, Jackson, for everything.  I know you’ll wind up at the right school, and they’ll be fortunate to have you.

Love,

Uncle Paul

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